Oh, Dabney Coleman. Tonight warrants a rewatch of War Games.

You're never too old to want to go away for the summer and come back cool.

Having dinner with friends and their 2-month-old baby is like dining with a celebrity. 'I'M WITH THE BABY' I announce as the entire restaurant applauds.

Isn't this from Ghostbusters II?

I want what any woman wants in a summer outfit, something flattering and belted, worn while climbing the side of a yacht with a dagger in my mouth.

The worst Mother's Day ads are the ones where you think, 'Oh yeah, she would have really liked that.'

I have allergies and took a Sudafed, and I think I just experienced the first moon landing.

Bad news, Cybertruck owners. Your drivable tape dispenser's got the zoomies.

My sister complimented another woman's yellow blouse, and she replied 'Sometimes you need to bring your own sunshine.' Filing that away for a bad day.

Conan O’Brien delivering the most profound statement on how one should develop their own sense of comedy with snot pouring from his nose because he just poured acid into his nasal cavities is the best video clip you’ll ever see.

Sometimes I let my dog drive so I get a chance to ride with my head out the car window.

Just remembered that in the TV edit of “Caddyshack”, they changed Rodney Dangerfield’s last line from “Hey everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!” to the much creepier “Hey, everybody, let’s all take a shower!”

Yes sometimes I had more fun than other times

DOG: WHAT IS THAT?
ME: Trash truck. It's Thursday.
DOG: I WILL FIGHT IT. LET ME LOOSE.
Me: This happens every Thursday.
DOG: I'M READY TO FIGHT.
Me: They're taking our garbage.
...
...
...
DOG: Why would you give away perfectly good garbage?

Hell yeah I'll watch a Bridget Jones 4. I'll watch a Bridget Jones 9 where two rigor mortis hands burst forth from a fresh grave with a diary and cigarette. I'm no quitter.

I'm just a girl standing in front of an eclipse screaming CHANGE ME INTO LADYHAWKE.

Scott Foley and Maia Reficco will star in La Dolce Villa -- a new romantic comedy directed by Mark Waters (Freaky Friday, Just Like Heaven).

A successful businessman travels to Italy to stop his daydreaming daughter from blowing her life savings on a crumbling villa. Italy has

Everyone, we're going to Italy and we're falling in love. Hackett's orders.

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

ME: Do you ever suddenly get sad trying to remember the smell of the house you grew up in?
DRIVE THRU SPEAKER: That's one Diet Coke, no ice?