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When even Kirstie Allsopp's calling you out for being mean you really must be a massive cunt.

Emma Watson just posted a photo of JK Rowling's soul

Actually just shush'd the wind

Gone in eight minutes

My holy trinity of Survivor winners

Rachel Riley's gonna get another free pass from Channel 4 isn't she.

My fave celeb writing open letters to each other beef was when George Michael and Elton John started writing essays to each other through Heat magazine. George cleared him, several times

My dad and I are locked in a war of attrition over the thermostat.

I’m a leftist teacher. If I were actually capable of indoctrinating your kids, they’d wear deodorant, stay off their phones in class, and stop answering every question with “bruh”
#Indoctrination

That was fun but I want to see Dannii Minogue drag Sharon Osbourne next. It's time.

Fully expecting to see Amanda Holden wheeled into ICU on tonight's episode of Casualty, resus team on stand-by.

Not saying we're a difficult group of eaters tonight but 3 of us are getting Chinese, 2 are getting pizza, 2 are having Indian and 1 is bringing their own dinner.

It's peak dad music but Heat of the Moment by Asia is such a stone cold banger I'm obsessed

Began searching for a chiropodist for my mum and the first name I came across was Sassy Feet as if I need to look any further.

Can't decide if I'm more annoyed at Joe Sugg for being so good or his opponents for being so fucking shit #HouseOfGames