Cordelia: 'I aspire to help my fellow man.'Check. As long as he's not smelly, dirty or something gross.
Xander: Cordelia Chase, always ready to give a helping hand to the rich and the pretty.
Cordelia: Which, lucky me, excludes you. Twice.
Xander: Is murder always a crime?
#Buffy

Giles: To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's not done because people deserve it, it's done because they need it.
Buffy: No. James destroyed the one person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion. And that's not something you forgive.
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Snyder: It's worth nothing, Harris. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event.
Xander: I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me. And I can only hope that one day I'm in the position to be that honest with you.

Giles: Yes, well, I trust I gave good squirm.
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Anya: You've never seen a demon.
Buffy: Uh, excuse me. Killing them professionally, four years running.
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Xander: Angel was in your bedroom?
Willow: Ours is a forbidden love.
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Buffy: Do I like shrubs?
Xander: That's between you and your God.
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Xander: Principal Snyder. Great career fair, sir. Really. In fact, I'm so inspired by your leadership, I'm thinking principal school. I wanna walk in your shoes. Not your actual shoes, of course, because you're a tiny person. Not tiny in the small sense, of course.
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Giles: It's a reliquary. Used to house items of religious significance. Most commonly a finger or some other body part from a saint.
Buffy: Note to self. Religion: freaky.
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Devon: What does a girl have to do to impress you?
Oz: Well, it involves a feather boa and the theme to A Summer Place. I can’t discuss it here.
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Cordelia: Marie Antoinette worked hard to look that good. People don't appreciate that kind of effort. I know the peasants were all depressed...
Xander: Oppressed.
Cordelia: Whatever. They were cranky. Marie Antoinette cared about them. She was going to let them have cake.
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Giles: I'll have you know that I have very, uh, many relaxing hobbies.
Buffy: Such as?
Giles: Well, um, I enjoy cross-referencing.
Buffy: Do you stuff your own shirts, or do you send them out?
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Buffy: If it makes you feel better, it's Principal Wood, and I think he's aligned with The First.
Xander: Also, like ten years older than you, right?
Willow: Which is like 100 years younger than your type.
Buffy: Yay. Someone who doesn't remember the Industrial Revolution.
#Buffy

Xander: Giles lived for school. He's still bitter there are only twelve grades.
Buffy: He probably sat in math class thinking, 'There should be more math. This could be mathier.'
Willow:You don't think he ever got restless as a kid?
Buffy: Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed.

Xander: Ooh, gang, did you hear that? A bonus day of class, plus Cordelia. Mix in a little rectal surgery and it's my best day ever.
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Buffy: So how come Halloween is such a big yawner? I mean, do the demons just hate how commercial it's become?
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Ford: Wow. Cold hands.
Xander: You're not wrong.
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Ford: Would I be imposing?
Xander: Only in the literal sense.
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Cordelia: You know what's so cool about college? The diversity. You've got all the rich people, and all the other people.
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Oz (re: seeing Willow): Who is that girl?
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