You can’t sober up in this town!

Not me wanting someone who probably doesn’t want me….🤡

Just cause you’re “forklift certified” doesn’t mean you know how to operate it well!

When they sang keepin up with the joneses I didn’t know they’d become family!

No one ever accused Zach of being smart but he’s creative

She’s a 10 and that’s the tweet!

Man, when I get a cold beer in my hand it all goes south

She’s a 10, wears scrubs and drink bud heavies! #wifeymaterial

Well shitfuck it’s that nasty tag soup again! #maybe

Y’all ever spotted a 400” bull and got them eyes! Well I get them with her!

I found my Texas tornado!

If you don’t drink milk, grow up Butch Cassidy

A Relationship Should Be 50/50 She Steals My Hoodies, I Steal Her Ability To Walk

Gf-I feel like I need to break my neck! Me-wtf?? But relatable!

Bf: “why buy a throw pillow when you can buy a 30 rack?”

“The D in democrats stands for dumbfucks” - Butch Cassidy

Good friends, good girlfriend, good life!!!

Has anyone found my ass I lost today?!

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UNITED AND OFFENDED!