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When I have long hair and wear my yays with the big lenses I look like John Lennon if he hit dog with Fetty instead of Yoko Ono

Reading Machiavelli & listening to Chicken P

Sabrina carpenter would be 10x more attractive if she worked at a liquor store in a flyover state

Drop Dj Dabs In Tel Aviv with 100 broward county jiggas & Israel will surrender by dawn tomorrow

Men & women should Lowkey keep their problems to their own gender

I just drank my first beer and it feels amazing to hit weaker people with my fists

Caught a big bass today white boy summer in full effect

You should get a cool hat or something if you visit all 50 states

I hope I get reincarnated at least once so I can have contempt for an ex wife, will not happen in this lifetime bc Ima die wit my wife cuz nothing more Gangsta than being a real lover no bap

They (you know who) killed Jesus for telling the truth that BAC is just a number

Catching fish might be more fun than opiates

free chicken p

Drunk driving being illegal is objectively retarded just a couple hundred years ago our ancestors were traversing the sea while belligerently drunk for months at a time but I can’t drive 6 minutes to get some cigarettes it’s fuckin bollocks

My only regrets with my exes is I didn’t screenshot them crying on FaceTime & make day 2 no lean memes

On my kids I can’t fuck wit nobody who put peanut butter in they smoothies 1. Why do you wanna sip on Nut 2. That shit makes the blender a bitch and a half to clean 3. The salt ruin the whole flavor profile

“Dog make good Runch” - my dad

"leftist" but you won't doordash me beer "community care" but you won't doordash me beer "we keep us safe" but you won't doordash me beer "do no harm" but you won't doordash me beer "liberation for all" but you won't doordash me beer

It’s better to have gambled and lost than to have never gambled before

Flirting my way out of a DUI by telling the female cop she has to admit it was pretty sick how I passed up all the stupid slow sober drivers

World war 3 really about to happen before carti drops the tape