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Plane just touched down in Myrtle for buddy’s bachelor party. Open up text from wife - “plz take it easy this weekend, you have a son now.” Me:

Sovereignty (+900) is winning the Derby this evening. Thank me later.

Yeah I know ball

Being a country club member is so fucking goated.

The cia is putting chemicals in the beer to make me want it every day

The rest of the world: “You can’t ‘win’ the papacy, it’s not a competition” Americans:

Funniest possible reaction to the new pope

See you at Oakmont.

Nike’s ad for Scottie Scheffler’s PGA Championship victory. Well played. 👏😂

Might have blacked out on a Tuesday, not planning on apologizing for it.

Type shit I’m on this summer

Sunburnt from 1 hour on the beach #whitemoment

Nothing better.

Shot a bogey free 66 today… not sure how it can go up from here

“private country club”

Jordan Spieth is so back

Why are bengals fans being so dumb about Trey Hendrickson? He is being a baby. He is currently under a contract and it would be so stupid to extend him after a career year. Think he might be hiring bots to fill every comment section with “re sign Trey!”.

Nah, was to pack y’all up

Starting to get annoyed with how good Scheffler is… makes sundays very boring