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Oakmont:

🚨🚨no one in the field is under par🚨🚨

Thinking about Bobby Mac posting +2 and then cackling fiendishly to himself at the clubhouse bar as everyone trying to finish their round

Yes, the big names are out. But this is sick. Journeymen, cagey vets, and young bucks who haven’t done it yet are all white-knuckling it as they try to keep it between the mustard and the mayonnaise and finish.

“Hey, heard the top of the leaderboard was looking at a five-way?”

Scottie Scheffler is like 13 feet of putts from leading this tournament outright

JJ Spaun is going to make the Ryder Cup on points and certain people are going to become The Joker

McIlroy. Scheffler. Spaun. Just like we all predicted.

I know it’s too early to talk about this but GOD am I geeked up for this tournament to go back to Shinnecock Hills

what a world, someone just won the U.S. Open with the Buttplug Putter

We constantly root for the best golfers to tack on majors to build on their resumes, work towards the grand slam, etc. I’m as guilty of it as anyone else. But it’s possible that the guys who climb the mountain and grab their first major…matters to this sport even more.

having to take a Zoom call for work on day three of an extended weekend bachelor party where your buddies stole all your golf shorts and won’t tell you where they are (they’re in the pool)

at your niece’s dance recital:

- veteran character actor. over 80 screen credits, mostly on television - took off acting for 18 months after a very memorable (but controversial) guest appearance on “Law & Order: SVU” caused auditions to dry up - spent 2023 SAG-AFTRA Strike submitting ideas to “Shark Tank”

I might be out on giant surprises after Anthony Kim came back

This is like seeing the dispersion of everyone’s drives on a particular hole and then you see a little dot with “Jordan Spieth” next to it

No chance of WWIII tonight