damn rip Homer, you would've loved Happy Feet

hmmm feel like I'd really like to start walking through darkened hallways clutching a candelabra

liz, actually You ain’t need no more weird lil costumes

I may be a lot of things, but I'm not someone who's added "Comedy" to the end of all of my usernames

every boygenius song is the three of them competing to have the most heart breaking verse

thank you to @igsygrace for making me cry real tears multiple times reading HG fan fiction 😩💔🥰

Ending a friendship because she said she didn't like Princess Diaries 2

How am I not getting pussy I literally have great credit

doing important research to see if I have a chance in hell

my real legacy is that because of me there is an improv group at a Christian college that goes to Speedway every Monday night at eleven PM for something called "Squirt Monday"

"My Year of Rest and Relaxation" except that it's me getting food poisoning and spending a single day in bed

Gonna start a micro movement called library maxxing for all the fellow nannies

Imagine being THIS hot and THIS talented and being cast in the MCU as a DOG! They did her beyond dirty.

For every shitty thing jk rowling has done, there's Rick Riordan making sure everything he writes is inclusive as hell

I hate the name Owl City. Call it what is it. It's fucking Ga'Hoole!

God bless the costumers who keep Jonathan Bailey in tight little pantaloons

walking into the spotify office with a gun

Where's Mike White? I just want to talk...

every girl I went to college with: I'm so grateful to be marrying the man I've prayed for!!! 🥰 the man she prayed for: