I don’t say it enough, but Lady Gaga is so fucking COOL 🐈‍⬛

beeeeeecause iiiiiiii kneeeew yoooou

Do you ever want to just scream?!? AAAHHHHHHHH

Ozempic Vecna is snatched as hell

Don’t send me or tag me in chain mail. I’m 33 and I will break the chain. I don’t care if I spend eternity in hell

WHAT do you even MEAN

. Chappell Roan got it right when she said don’t waste a first date on Friday night. Also don’t waste $60 of your grocery money. Also, just don’t waste your time bro

Oh wow, look at that! It’s dumb bitch o’clock!

On a first date, do you A) talk about yourself or B) stare at the sky and hope for the best

I’m gonna make a deal with god to swap our places

Spotify wrapped is so funny to me. You’re such a fan of an artist! Good job buddy! 🥰

Something I’ve learned about my failed dates this year … I’ll stop trying to date humble looking guys. I’m too hot and famous

It’s called mormon WIVES, give the dads their own show so I don’t have to watch them

I need yall to know im buying a good ass stand mixer for my baking and I don’t give a shit

because I knew you… I have been chaaaaanged, FOR GOOOOOOD

beeeeCAAAAUUUUSSSSSEEEEE I kneeeeeewwwww yooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu

I think everyone who lives in Oz is a little sheep bitch

Save us from the Wicked!!!

FIIIIYYYYYYYEEEERRRRROOOOOOO

my iPhone 13 charger takes double the time to charge because the cord is split in half …