Andy Field (@andyfieldhello) 's Twitter Profile
Andy Field

@andyfieldhello

1 of the UK's top 50 tall, white, glasses-wearing, male stand up comedians.
Listen to my podcast (ofc I have a podcast) @gr8podcongrats

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linkhttp://andyfieldhello.com calendar_today12-02-2010 13:18:19

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Hate my mechanic's tone, as if I'm stupid for not knowing the things he's paid to know "Your brake pads are worn down to the metal" so? Is that bad? Just make it go, charge me some random amount and give it back, car nerd

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I got my first pubes when I was 7. I said, "why are you giving me these?" But he just smiled and told me to go back to sleep

Andy Field (@andyfieldhello) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I don't think I'll ever go full veggie because I don't respect birds I look into the eyes of a cow, or a pig, and I see such depth, such a capacity to feel Chickens though? They creep me out if anything. I'll eat them and their eggs, no hesitation, I don't give a shit

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Everyone's got an alcoholic drink they can't hack any more because they had too much of it when they were a kid. That's how I feel about colouring in. I just went too hard and burnt myself out. I genuinely don't like it anymore

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I feel like Chapel Roan is body shaming me because I am definitely too tall to eat anyone out while knee deep in the passenger seat. Best case scenario I can lick their stomach but even then my neck is screaming and I don't even know where my feet are