My analog child actually gives the screen a thumbs up when the YouTuber asks him to like and subscribe. ☠️

Deleting the "ELF" alarm is such a rush.

The only story I want to see about the snow is: Whatever happened to these dudes?

BREAKING: ICE just announced it is pausing the hotline where people can call to report undocumented immigrants because 90% of the calls are from people reporting Elon Musk.

Mentally preparing for another snow day, another day of kindergarten AMI, and by preparing I mean getting little treats for myself.

Did you know you can eat things besides eggs? Purchasing them is not mandatory!

Itching for bedtime so I can continue to snark-watch With Love, Meghan.

Cringe-watched With Love, Meghan and even so, I will be buying that eggshell Le Creuset.

I breastfed a baby during a tornado while explaining to a 5 yo that Planet Fitness isn’t a real planet, but sure, women can’t be president.

One of the best things about living in an old home is that when your kids visit a home built after, say, 1990 and see things like, say, attached garages, they are mesmerized.

Oh nothing, just calling the pediatrician to see if we should give my 1 year old a second dose of the MMR vaccine early because this is America

what an elite tier excuse, we lost a real one

He's got a Midwestern accent, he shooed away JD Vance...is it hard to convert

Scott Connell's shirt sleeves aren't rolled up yet so I'm not worried about this weather, but also no one seems to be able to hit the beep-beep button that sounds the tornado siren so.

Scene: Pilates class. Fellow student complains she can’t do an exercise because her arms hurt. Pilates instructor: You need more Pilates. That’s marketing, baby.

I did that which everyone said not to do and that is search for "babydoll" on Etsy.

Few things are more embarrassing than opening your mouth too soon at the dentist.