BREAKING: Mitch McConnell has been hospitalized after falling at private dinner. Photo of McConnell being transported to the hospital:

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BREAKING: New ANN Poll shows that only 10% of people believe Donald Trump deserves to be arrested.

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BREAKING: A new study has revealed that President Trump’s rally tonight in Waco Texas is projected to attract approximately 573 Million viewers around the globe. That would be more than 17x the amount of people that watched Joe Biden’s inauguration, per Dr. Phillip Oliver-Holz.

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Wise words from Dr. Phillip Oliver-Holz via Truth Social

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BREAKING: The Easter Bunny is refusing to visit New York City this Easter due to the rampant crime. The Easter Bunny is DEMANDING that Rudy Giuliani be reinstated as Mayor along with his “Stop and Frisk” policies that kept the city so safe, per Dr. Phillip Oliver-Holz

BREAKING: Taylor Swift is actively pursuing Nick Adams (Alpha Male) to be her husband per Scotty P-Kenyan Realist BNAM:4547. “I’ve finally realized that I’m in desperate need of an Alpha Male to provide for me, and there is no man better for the job than Nick Adams.” - Taylor Swift

BREAKING: The Easter Bunny is accusing Joe Biden of making unwanted sexual advances toward her at the annual Easter Egg Roll. This is the 2nd accusation of sexual misconduct made against Biden. The bunny will reportedly be testifying before congress in late May, per ANN.

Hearing rumors of Tucker Carlson to ANN. Updates to follow…

BREAKING: Old Tweets from Ian Miles Cheong resurface where he calls Age of Consent Laws “draconian.”

BREAKING: A new study by Union 247 revealed that over 85% of convicted pedophiles are members of the LGBTQ+ Community