justice for coconut

Biden I just got a email about my student loans. They telling me the payment pause on student loans ends at the end of January. I’m going to have them email and call you because something must be wrong. I swear you told us you was canceling student loan debt.

Boy can do DoorDash with NO CAR. Food still be hot when it arrive

Took an adderall to clean my room and ended up spending an hour meticulously picking out which tiny little Santa hats will adorn the wine I’m giving my coworkers for Christmas

I can always count on my dentist wanting to talk about Joe Namath and the average nfl salary in the 1970s immediately after my gums are ripped to shreds

My happiness and general well-being is directly tied to living within a jimmy johns delivery area. Every minute that I’m deprived of a freaky fast delivery my life gets exponentially worse

Never was big into astrology so i just learned that being aquarius means i’m unpredictable and schedules & organization unnerves me. No wonder i was in Saban dog house so much 😂 Don’t blame me blame mercury or whatever they be saying lol

Had to do it to em

After a year of tirelessly fighting Twitter support after being locked out by a kpop stan and needing to use my fan account for Ross Lynch’s family band from 2009 I’m back

🥹

Me in the morning trying to process the intense symbolism that appeared in my dreams

Spotify’s algorithm is getting out of hand

if you’re a 28 year old man still trying to add me on snapchat you should be taken out back Old Yeller style

a story in three parts

sometimes I'm late because I sit like this for a long time.

if I had a time machine I would go back to the 2002 spooky island sugar ray concert

Two dumb bitches telling each other “exactlyyyy”

hey it's nikki blonsky from the movie hairspray!