You see all these Israelis? I'd venture to say that almost all believe Hamas committed unspeakable evil on 10/7, is a terrorist menace, deserves to be eliminated as a security or political factor...AND that Netanyahu's policies have been a disaster, he has failed the hostages, he

In equal parts proud and offended when 6 year old asked if Plato was around when I was little. Then realised she said Playdough.

In Legoland and I do not want to hear ANYONE complaining about queueing for Oasis tickets ever again.

If Oasis play their gigs like Legoland run their rides, you'll be lucky if you get 'Don't Look Back in Anger' and 'I'm Outta Time' before you're asked to leave. Can't even begin to imagine what a pint will cost.

Must be so difficult when you already own Park Lane and just want to build hotels. He's going to be devastated when he finds out what his party did to the Water Works.

Absolute pleasure to be back on Paper Cuts Podcast in the estimable company of Alex von Tunzelmann & Robert Hutton. If you enjoy it half as much as I enjoyed doing it it should be well worth a listen. Not that maths is my strong point, admittedly.

Day 2 of the school year and already considering a pint after drop off.

I thought ‘brat summer’ was just another name for the school holidays.

Clearly the only time I'm ever going to appear in the same sentence as Alan Bennett AND Robert Harris, & in The Times to boot. I'd like to thank Patrick Kidd for providing the only reliable evidence my mother will accept that my career hasn't been a total waste of an education:

My latest little bit on parental advice. From my mother…to my wife…😱

Excellent annual tradition. Production values appear to be on an upward trajectory too. 😊

Oh. I thought it was because he was a Russian asset.

Just to clear this up for everyone who is refusing to recognise the Donald's genius: He will tax all the other countries in the world trillions of dollars which will be so much money only a tiny proportion of it will be needed to pay for all of America's childcare. Next!

‘William latest look sends royal fans into a frenzy’…

This Toyota dealership just bodied the cyber truck

The more Trump warns about voter fraud, the more you know it’s the only way he feels he’s going to be able to steal the election. The only way he will avoid jail. Democrats REALLY need to democrat. And reform that mad f**king electoral college idiocy already.

Got in from The The Comedy Store, UK late show at 2:30am. Up at 7 to give kids breakfast. Long suffering wife up at 9 to let me go back to bed. Someone has given the five year old a harmonica.