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Official Team Portnoy Press Release.

Sometimes the right music just hits a little different.

Retweet, save a life

🚨 AT THE BUZZER!! 🚨

My ex used to scream and go off on me for waking her up in the morning before I’d leave. Today, I woke my girl up and she goes “I’m in love with you and I can’t wait to marry you. Do you think I could eat Christmas cookies for breakfast?” Someone’s out there for you, trust me.

You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf. Now get ready for

MIXING UP MY 2ND ALBUM ALMOST DONE FUCK

Please stop driving high, this girl in front of me just stopped at a fire hydrant

College students: - Don’t qualify for $1200 check if claimed as dependents - Don’t qualify for $500 bc over 18 - Don’t get tuition refund - Don’t get rent forgiveness for off-campus housing - Don’t get to keep on-campus jobs - Don’t get student loan forgiveness - ?????

For all you TikTok users 😳👀

The fact that my friends went out to buy a thermometer to check their temperatures in order for me to drive up and visit is pure gold.

I demand a public apology from every coach I’ve ever had...

You mean they actually took a test?

Every time I turn around another assignment is due....... I just want peace x.com/findurmeme/sta…

rt for good luck

twitch.tv/surfluffy