It’s me, hi. I’m the problem it’s me

I know this isn’t the main point, but the FCC-style bleep noise they chose is objectively funny

Updating the MPRE to include at least two “don’t help your client overthrow the US government” questions

No YOU’RE crying 💕

Good morning to everyone except whoever scheduled my client’s hearing 30 minutes before the court even opened 🙃

Waiting for the EOIR Portal to work like

You’d think I’d be better at this after 6ish years in immigration law, but I still have to use a scheduling calculator app 😵‍💫

You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

Someone left three bags of Garrett’s Popcorn at the gate and I’ve never seen so many Chicagoans ready to abandon both the honor system and midwest niceness

I’m so grateful to the folks who got me here, and I can’t wait to see what’s next. 🥳

The current expedited process that gives 24 hrs to *try* to speak w/ a lawyer is woefully insufficient. We’ve told the admin this many times. Non-profits are often only attys willing to take these cases & to meet this 4 hr standard we’d have to staff 24/7, which is impossible.

Being a lawyer is wild bc some days it’s like, “let me fill out this hyper-specific form where even a rogue period can get it rejected” and other days it’s like “well I guess we have to make up a motion for this”

While they’re at it, they can update the possible answers for what Ben Franklin is known for. The fact that “inventing the lightning rod” isn’t listed as a valid answer always irked me.

Good luck convincing me that our Dog of Honor isn’t our baby. 💅 Also hire Alex Maldonado Photography.

All rise for the Midwest Anthem

Immigrants shouldn't have to be exceptional to be valued. Immigrants should have the right to be as average as the rest of us and still not be targets of hatred and violence.

I’m hearing that AILA attorneys are in disarray arguing whether this Oct 30 roundtable will be great or *the greatest panel* of all time. aila.org/shop/products/… You’ll hear from Jesse Bless, Curtis Morrison, & THE Alex “Shrill” George Santhanam!

Pro tip from Trump I for immigration folks: It’s not just the substantive policy changes, it’s the volatility of policy and daily grind of chaotic news that wears your down and drives you crazy. Create a habit of taking a few breaths before reacting/responding to news.

When suing Marco Rubio and Donald Trump, be sure to use one size smaller font for the former’s name in the complaint’s caption.