Monty urinating on a bouncer now that takes balls ! And a willy ! #notthepitch

"@Tonkrap26: Manchester United attempt to smuggle Marouane Fellaini in for medical #MUFC ” LOOOOOOOOL

Ozil has failed his medical at Arsenal due to a dust-induced asthma attack after the being shown the trophy room.”Alex Derman John C

On his debut for Liverpool, Victor Moses matched the number of #BPL goals he managed for Chelsea last season #SWALIV

"UberFacts: A study has found that the first two years of college are basically useless." warwick watt #noworries #we'llfocusnextyear

L'Equipe report that Toulon have made an offer to Ruan Pinenaar to join the side in season 2014/2015. Schalk Burger linked to join then too

Barcelona XI vs Ajax: Valdés, Alves, Piqué, Mascherano, Adriano, Sergio, Fàbregas, Iniesta, Alexis, Messi, Neymar #gladtheynotinEPL #toogood

Warrior Race #ChallengeACCEPTED #Warrior6 #BeBrave I will be there! Alex Rudd Murray Conway

England Selector Geoff Miller "We've seen a lot in quality of Gary (Ballance) & unfortunately for James (Taylor) it was Gary we chose"#Ashes

“@neverknownfacts: On average, people who complain live longer. Releasing this tension increases immunity and boosts their health.”John C

“TED: Every girl is beautiful...sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.”Stefan Rossler Ryan Cloete

“TED: Normal Person Flirting: "Hey, babe(: what's goin on?" Me Flirting: "Your face. I like that shit."”Stefan Rossler Ryan Cloete

if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that zac efron has a yolo tattoo

“UberFacts: Masturbation clears nasal congestion.”Stefan Rossler Ryan Cloete

“Steve Stifler: I'm attracted to people I have no chance of being with” is this you Stefan Rossler hahaha.... #feelyourpain #jessicaalba

“ShitNoOneSayss_: You look great with that spray tan.” I would tweet this to Bell if she had twitter!! Ryan Cloete Stefan Rossler