Someone asked me if I wanted my kids to follow in my footsteps. I replied, they need to find their own hell, this is daddy's.

I find it funny that movie studios have opted to challenge the writers and actors unions. Challenge a group of people who write brilliant dialogue and another group of people that can deliver said dialogue with the greatest of gravitas? Yeah, I'm in, said the movie exec.

What kind of gawd dang strawberries are they eating?!

Heard an energy propaganda commercial on an Ontario radio station paid for by the government of Alberta Alberta Government. Perhaps spending that money on green energy initiatives would be wiser. Or maybe, spend it on public health to protect Alberta children from food borne diseases.

The seething hatred between teenagers and winter boots continues unabated.

I am certain the Treaty of Versailles had less stipulations. And, clearly Rule 11 was nothing but a lie.

This is an Albertosaurus. And would you believe this happens to be my favourite dinosaur?

Me: being off from school what did you do today? Youngest: Watched tv. Played video games. Me: I see. Youngest, feeling I was being judgemental: well it's better than what she did. (Referring to her older sister) Me: what did your sister do? Youngest: she stunk all day.

Interviewer: Here's our panel discussion on gravity. On my left, the preeminent physicist Dr. B. Mass. Mass: We've discovered the first evidence for the graviton particle. I: Wonderful. On the other side we have day labourer Frank. Frank: I ain't never seen this gravy-ton.

No one is coming to save us from ourselves. We're all we have.

Do you really have a headache, or is it just in your head?

I hate discovering words I've never seen before during my desperate flailing to solve the day's Wordle puzzle.

It's true, you can believe whatever you wish, but no amount of wishing will make what you believe true.

I don't see the team drone.

Canadian women's soccer team are for real. Winning against the venerable French team in added time. Absolutely amazing!

Sitting outside, watching one of our kids play soccer. Bugs everywhere! My lovely wife was speaking, then with a violent lean forward and a horrific horking sound, she spits. Wife: one of those bugs flew in my mouth Me: that's mother's nature's way of saying you talk too much.

Ai artists and Ai writers are like parents with athletically exceptional children, taking credit for what someone (or something) else did.

My wife and eldest daughter are now hook deep into crocheting, suddenly and expensively. My wife is currently watching a crocheting video on YouTube. I occasionally hear a sigh, followed by "slow down puppy." And the video repeats a few times.