worker: the sauce is in the bag me at home:

me checking my bank account and realizing i have enough money left to eat out for the fourth day in a row

when you overhear the whole family talking shit about eachother at the dinner table

me trying to find a different show to watch after finishing one i really liked

People say we have no talent... Then what is this? Manny MUA

I’m so happy nothing came oozing out

teacher: “your mom is here you have a doctor appointment” middle school me:

LMFAOOO BIG YEP

with a MAC 212 brush. Yes pls.

My favorite memory in high school was when I fell in love with this girl but I was mean to her and then one day at a football game she was like “waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing” and then it started raining and we kissed

My husband just put my bras in the dryer, someone draft me some divorce papers 😩😂😭

😂

“still love her tho” is a bitter bitch cover up 😂😂😂