Stepped outside for 5 minutes to get a salad for lunch

Good morning

When it’s Bagel Friday, but the bagels haven’t arrived yet.

Mustard on the beat 👀

This is just so, soooo good. 👏 Dunkin'

#LFGM

Winner United Airlines

Arguably the best possible thing a leader can say to a new team member in any circumstance or industry

Just spilled a bowl of ramen in my lap. AMA

Me: “It’s time for bed.” 9 yr-old: “Not necessarily.”

Pink skies in NYC tonight

9 yr-old singing in the shower: “Get up, stand up…stand up for your legs”

My children’s bedtime routine every year on Daylight Savings Day

The joys of working from home

Good morning to New York Knicks fans, and only to New York Knicks fans

Hey Dave Portnoy how’d this tweet age?

Me: “Your room smells like an actual Chipotle” 11 yr-old: “That’s a good thing”

Even my mom calls me AJos.

A few months ago, my wife smelled smoke at home and insisted I call the fire department. Two fire trucks and a dozen firemen showed up & concluded the smell was nothing to fear - my neighbor was simply smoking brisket next door. This morning we got this text from my neighbor 🤣