AJ 'Sweet Pea' DiCosimo (@ajdicosimo) 's Twitter Profile
AJ 'Sweet Pea' DiCosimo

@ajdicosimo

words: @thenewyorker @madmagazine @weeklyhumorist @movieweb

ID: 394457601

calendar_today20-10-2011 03:11:05

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AJ 'Sweet Pea' DiCosimo (@ajdicosimo) 's Twitter Profile Photo

On Wednesday if you would have told me that the Cleveland Browns were going to come away with all of these guys, I would have been doing backflips. Fannin is my fav. Mason Graham Carson Schwesinger Quinshon Judkins Harold Fannin Jr. Dillon Gabriel Dylan Sampson Shedeur Sanders

AJ 'Sweet Pea' DiCosimo (@ajdicosimo) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Mmmmmmmm I love eggplant. If I had a genie who granted me three wishes I would ask him to make my throat three times bigger so I could jam as much ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ† into my mouth as possible.

AJ 'Sweet Pea' DiCosimo (@ajdicosimo) 's Twitter Profile Photo

When life gives you lemons, bite into them whole. Don't even peel it. Make eye contact with the mailman. Let him know youโ€™re not afraid anymore.

AJ 'Sweet Pea' DiCosimo (@ajdicosimo) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I treat my body like a temple. Every Sunday a bunch of strangers come inside it before they go home and have dinner with their families.

AJ 'Sweet Pea' DiCosimo (@ajdicosimo) 's Twitter Profile Photo

As I tried escaping this island to swim back to Missouri, I almost drowned as my bulky, cumbersome penis weighed me down. I'd be dead if it wasn't for that school of knobbed grouper.

AJ 'Sweet Pea' DiCosimo (@ajdicosimo) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I just said to my girlfriend that "T.J. McConnell is the J.J. Barea of Matthew Dellavedovas" and I don't think she will be having sex with me anytime soon.