Tonight we find out if Iowa has electile dysfunction.

Charlie Fuzinski wanted to open a vision center but his wife didn't think it sounded very welcoming. He was going to call it CF Eye Care.

Never thought I'd miss the days when Billary Clinton was President.

If a little kid really wants to be a spy when he grows up, does he tell people he wants to be something else? #cleanjoke

First, Obama skipped the funeral for Scalia and now the funeral for Nancy Reagan. To attend a FESTIVAL. But hey, why show any class now?

London bound. This'll be great!

Also (see attached) in saying we shouldn't give up puns, she says: As the jousting spear said, we will not go gently into that good knight.

Celebrating my B-Day with my good friend, the Easter Bunny. #FriendsInHighPlaces #321

Old #Joke (OJ): I never try to make my guests feel at home. If they wanted to feel at home, they would have stayed there. #cleanjoke

Ever compliment someone & have it come out wrong? My neighbor was resurfacing his driveway and I said, “It looks really good retarred!”

They say there's safety in numbers. (That's why I always carry flashcards.) #cleanjoke

Answers to questions are stupid if you ask me.

If you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns, go for the juggler.

Adam knows he's naked & began covering himself with fig leafs. Eve tries to do the same when Adam says, "I wear the plants in this family!"

My grandfather Pop Pop a WW2 vet just turned 90. He will forever be my hero. Can u pls RT so I can show him the love

With the fate of either Hillary or Donald becoming Prez of US, wondering how hard it would be to swim into Mexico. #worsefate?

Just got the message, "Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup." I wonder if it's tried breathing into a paper bag?

I'm on BBC Radio 4 extra as part of the @bbcnewcomedy16 shortly. It starts at 22:30.

In the next Finding Dory movie she "finds" herself and gets an operation to become a really handsome male fish. It's called Hunky Dory.

I'm playing WordBrain and I've just reached brain size 468! #WordBrain #words