I've decided for lent I'm going to give up Christianity.

I just thought if I got hit by lightning I would be like the phenomenon or the powder guy. Or the guy from the great out doors.

Just driving in the rain. Blasting careless whisper. @pfunkmke

I just spent 15 minutes in line At the grocery store cuz two old lady's had to save zero cents on potato salad.

The music my dish washer plays sounds like a super future factory where robots are making sex robot babies on acid.

Just so you know...if I ask u how your dinner is and you say "real yummy" i close my eyes a imagine you're eating a pb&j...cuz that's yummy.

Just eat the damn corn muffin..it's free.

Danzig - She Rides (Video) youtube.com/watch?v=dwprxm… via YouTube

That last tweet is the greatest music video ever made.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes | Official Trailer | 20th Century FOX youtube.com/watch?v=h_9-3F… via YouTube Holy shit.

Ramen + nice glass of milk...Ron burgundy said it best. "Milk was a bad choice "

I'm at Newark airport in a bar and the BOSS is playing.#exitislefreezeout

Me: did you go get the rum? Wife:No, I'll just drink it in the car.

#kitchenpeeves 1. total lack of comprehending anything about surface area 2. Burnt black smoking oil that tastes and smells like gasoline

Everything I make gnocchi I get grossed out thinking about godfather 3 when Andy Garcia makes out with his first cousin.

Two different kind of duck eggs in today. The little ones are so cool. instagram.com/p/l2743YuxyY/

Looks compelling and disturbing.. Guess I gotta watch the whole thing! youtu.be/aCUbvOwwfWM. “Fed Up” .

@pfunkmke central bbq, rendezvous,corky's

Ordering a pasta, no pasta.....uh...heard that.

William S. Burroughs - A Thanksgiving Prayer youtu.be/sLSveRGmpIE