Lane 1 and 2 is Ant telling Dec he's been in a paintball accident, using a walkie talkie

Remember those words scrawled on the wall – "FUCK PAKIS" – whenever a pundit or a journalist tries to make out that this is all a misguided expression of legitimate concerns about immigration.

Social media posts about disorder in North Tyneside are not true. Northumbria Police tell us that there is no intelligence of planned protest activity in North Tyneside and there are no ongoing incidents of disorder within North Tyneside.

In the library with my son and found this football joke book and I’m in absolute awe at all of it. Unreal start with zero fact checking

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Southampton at home, most inconsistent home kits going along with Bayern & Palace. Will they turn up looking like mackem's, Peru (home or away) all red, all white, who knows?!? Or some variation of their, tbf, classic yellow & blue

"THAT'S AMAZING! With me, Simon Hooper. Today we're looking at a new type of video replay machine. It doesn't actually show any replays, strewth!"

"We need a new right back, who might fancy a move to play the last season at Goodison Park?" "Trippier" "Ok, We need a new right back, who might fancy a move to play the last season at Goodison Park maasaan?"

No wonder Howe took the Captain's arm band off him. Getting caught out by your fancy doorbell is NOT very high performance podcast

This time in two weeks I'll be off and doing The Great North Run so nowt daft training wise between now and then after today's Steve Howey inspired run. Still time to sponsor my efforts if you like that sort of obscure reference justgiving.com/page/adam-fors…

It must be a STING operation

"We got the adidas deal, put a load of shipping containers in a car park outside the stadium and I even did an impromptu set, which brought the house down. I thought I really understood the fan base, what more do they want, competent managing and improvement of the squad?!?"

Everyone in Ashington saying, "I'm not! I've got one foot on the bottom"

"On the field Newcastle were struggling to bolster their defense, but off it a local dispute over land meant a different type of barricade was in place at St James' Park"

"So that's it after a couple of years of not really playing and leaking the teams news, so long and good luck"

When the Kool and the Gang crowd turn ugly

Important piece from Andrew examining extent to which Saudi-led coalition is following through on regeneration pledges in Newcastle. Also an indictment of failing model of UK local govt that requires local councils to go cap in hand to developers and investors

This is quite long but worth a read if you support NUFC. It covers a lot so different things will stand out to different people, this was one that jumped out to me