After every bath since my toddler was tiny, I would wrap her in a towel and show her herself in the mirror, while saying “CLEEEEEEAN BABYYYYY” in a goofy voice. Tonight I wasn’t thinking and went to miss that step. Apparently toddler considers it a necessary part of bath time.

It appears the the toddler shoved a penny into her baby sister’s diaper. I found this while changing the stinky diaper. Who says being a mom doesn’t pay? #momlife

This is me, both babes asleep, laying in bed, trying to assure myself that I do NOT, in fact, need to go make a microwave mug cake at midnight.

Attempting to pray while supervising the kiddos playing, while the baby is feeling rebellious: “Our Father, Who art (uh-uh JoJo) in Heaven hallowed be THYYYY Name Thy Kingdom come, Thy WIIILL be done, on Earth as it IIIIIIIIS...”

Our 1yo has decided that our American Eskimo mix dog is, in fact, a wolf. We are at the “point at animal and identify it by its sound” phase. Point at lab - woof woof. Point at cow - mooo. Point at our dog - awooooooo

Overheard fight between the girls 4yo: *scribbles illegibly on paper and holds it up to her sister* Know what this says? It says “Stop it, you!” 3yo: I know, I can read!

Overheard 3yo singing/chanting the word “hux-a-lyzer”. Asked the 4yo if she could translate. 4yo: you know, the song? *to the tune of drunken sailor* “Way, hey, and hux-a-lyzer! Way, hey, and hux-a-lyzer! Early in the morning!”

Just had this conversation with 5 yo: 5: Mama, I can’t talk anymore Me: But…you are talking now 5: Yes. Because I needed you to know that I can’t talk Me: So you talked to me, so you CAN talk 5: Right. No. I NEEDED to tell you so you know that I can’t talk Me: ….ok.

At the store with all three kids, holding 1mo and chatting to a lady while 5yo and 3yo mill about the cart. Older gent coming up from my 5 o’clock brightly says something like “you’re busy!” I turn to smile and acknowledge him, and he sees baby on my arm and adds “very busy!”

5yo loves chess, and regularly asks for daddy to give her lessons. Recently the topic was chess batteries, and he asks her “how are the knight and the bishop working together?” And she replies “hmmm… pretty good…” 🤣

Probably the best thing you'll see today. In 2017, a group of developers hilariously competed for who could create worst volume control interface in the world. The results 🧵 1/22