People of Portland, OR who are interested in posters for free weekly stand-up showcases -- have I got a tweet for you! MONDAY. EASTBURN. 8PM. FREE.

Free Comedy every Monday EastBurn

I got fired at my last job for having 10 aquariums. Now I gotta find something to do with these 10 aquariums.

Might fuck around and get into birdwatching

I got arrested one time. It was at the zoo. I tried to give a chimpanzee a cigar.

Reviewed my first show on letterboxd!

I honestly have not heard of Elf on the Shelf, nor am I interested to hear about it. I’ll tell you what I am interested in: Elf on the Self, an examination of the self in the context of elfin consciousness that forms a distinction between phenomenal and metaphysical identities.

Monday! Free comedy!

In light of everything that’s been going on in the world, I’ve decided to get yoked. For my family and for families everywhere, I hereby pledge to seriously jack myself up until my body is shredded as Ore-Ida potatoes.

Hey everybody so I found two stone tablets inscribed in ancient Hebrew. I plugged it into google translate just in case it’s a message from God. You’re not going to believe this….

Who washes the washman?

RIZZLER YOU ARE TO SCARED OF ME TO RESPOND

My wife made this meme because her friend called Mark Ruffalo Paul Ruffalo.

Judge: Juror #2, please make yourself known to the court. (Two people rise) Judge: Waitaminute… one… two Jurors #2?! TITLE CARD: Juror #2 2: Two Jurors #2?!

Critical to your enjoyment of this short piece is the understanding that there already is a film called Juror #2! Thanks for reading, folks!

Scott Adams is about to meet GODBERT

In my opinion it should be called Wicked 2 Good bc that way people know it’s the 2nd one

boston aquarium said free palestine

KRAZY KAT George Herriman 01.17.33