A successful group dinner requires an authoritarian despot who can take uncomfortable actions for the greater good

sometimes when i drink too much my inner monologue takes on the voice of the guys from Pokémon Stadium (1999)

it is kiss me by sixpence none the richer degrees outside

Hope nobody posted this one yet

got my botox touched up at a Boystown medspa and i feel like a Ru girl on All Stars

Pope Leo XIV is the first pope to know exactly what Dave Matthews did on Aug. 8, 2004.

1996 Chris Farley comedy called "Chicago Pope" with 34% on Rotten Tomatoes and poster where he screams while falling from the Vatican balcony in full Cubs gear

every day i am faced with the horrors of my own making

they should do after school specials on how lip flips affect your ability to smoke cigs

im still here by the way!!!

This is artwork, we were so unappreciative of what we had

it’s gluttonous to post a 20 picture IG carrousel yet here I am subjecting my friends and family to it

listen eating a big mac while trying to merge onto the highway is stressful enough id appreciate it if you stopped beeping at me

no sorry i can’t come in the office tomorrow i cried through my spray tan watching the Samia Tiny Desk again

everyone’s talking about Better than revenge and Style but no one’s mentioned that we finally get to stream the og HAUNTED!!!