I don’t know, man, maybe some dudes from the 1700s who owned people and would be mystified by the sight of a dishwasher weren’t right about everything in perpetuity

As we continue to report on the horrendous toll of the Texas school shooting...yet another one... Australians should continue to be grateful for the strength and courage shown by John Howard and Tim Fischer after the 1996 Port Arthur massacre.

*waves* Greetings from Australia. We did…

I know those horses are literally bred for this purpose but the one in the middle is looking a tad skiddish and I am anxious for him 😬 Don’t bolt buddy, for the love of god, keep it together… #queensfuneral

I just keep thinking about how Netflix will have to recreate this for #TheCrown

For the last time: Brittany 👏🏻 Higgins 👏🏻 Is 👏🏻 Not 👏🏻 On 👏🏻 Trial 👏🏻 For 👏🏻 Rape 👏🏻 She 👏🏻 Is 👏🏻 The 👏🏻 Victim 👏🏻 It is the Bruce Lehrmann Rape Trial.

These two scenarios are currently playing out just a few hundred metres apart from each other, and with families losing everything just a few weeks ago, The Birdcage extravagance feels very Hunger Games this year… #MelbourneCup

Bloody hell, he just never SHUTS UP, does he?

Meghan Markle really should send Bec Hewitt a bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine for taking a few of the news.com.au bullets this week.

Honestly at this point, old mate could just start sending out slabs of lorem ipsum and they would make more sense. 🙃

Mine and Leon Sjogren’s news.com.au #TheBachelor recap tweets!! Nooooooooooooooooo 😭

‘Come back to the city!’ says Lord Mayor of Melbourne – Nick Reece But also, we’re gonna close down the trains on the busiest Christmas party weekend of the year so you can’t get home. 😐

All I’m saying is that it only took Rachel and Quinn four seasons to get to the ‘burn it all to the ground on our way out’ stage 🫣 #TheBachelorsAU

Ok, so I caught up* (aka, skimmed through the catch up TV version) on the finale of #TheBachelorsAU and all I can think about is the poor executive who genuinely thought this trash fire was gonna reinvent the franchise and green lit it to go into production…

I appreciate that Salesforce probs locked in this #AusGP deal well before redundancies were on the table, but…who thought another round just TWO days before their major (read: hideously expensive) sponsorship of the F1 to 500-odd million people around the world was a good idea?

Two thoughts on the #HalftimeShow 1. How does Ludacris have time in his busy schedule shooting Fast and Furious 85 to come back and do this? 2. The roller skate to sneaker quick change was impressive.