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the american girl dolls that are seeing barbie versus the dolls that are seeing oppenheimer

Brrrrrrds

???

Don’t tell me I look skinny, tell me l look strong

getting a man to do something that im perfectly capable of doing.

I have come to terms with the fact that I will not be losing any weight during tailgating season

I think I understand men a little bit better because if a pretty girl felt my bicep and told me I was strong, I, too, would have a huge ego

This is my type of feminism

I genuinely believe that only the weirdos attend the high school reunions

Actually, I take that back, the only two people who attend high school reunions are the people who peaked in high school or the weirdos

Where are the friends who take cute candid photos? Do y’all exist?

Holden and I never had the joint bridal shower we always said we wanted and that’s honestly my only regret

ever since i learned “the eagle always faces forward” is an official USPS slogan it’s been a near-constant struggle not to mutter it like a cryptic greeting to every mail carrier i see

Can someone invite me and holden to a wedding? It’s been a full year since I’ve seen my husband party in a suit and tie and I miss it

Danny Phantom’s “goin ghost!” But it’s me “goin nonverbal!”

Mind you, I have no idea what this is referencing

Me after taking too many hits of the pen and going nonverbal