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Muting people is self care!

Quote tweets are cries for help

70% of NBA basketball is just twirling your finger for a replay.

Rainy days

People posting pics in that "no filter" thread like

I wonder if ventriloquists love the song Master of Puppets.

Aggressive gum chewers can go to hell.

In bed by midnight on a Saturday like a champ.

I think I just overdosed on lo mein

We're all having a rough night it seems.

Everything sounds better in an accent that's not yours.

Maybe I'm just high (yes), but I feel like I'm being judged by some kind of cloud giraffe.

We still tossin slices of cheese on baby's heads or what?

Hopefully when I die people have positive quotes that I never said to make me look better than I was too.

Life was better before social media

I was sitting outside and saw a beetle stuck in a spider's web. I untangled it, put it on the table, and waited to see if it was okay. After some time it began to move, flapped its little wings, and flew right into the bug zapper. Seems fitting.

Don’t be dumb

Starting to think that not eating lead paint chips as a kid was a missed opportunity

Missing something that will never be