If your bank account could talk. What would it say to you?

Me checking my bank account after the weekend like

Is this work sign necessary 🤔😕🤣🤣

Kitchen sex Because it probably the only chance I'll get laid on an island

I wonder if life smokes after it fucks me?

After Santa read 50 shades of grey Christmas was very different

When she says no more sex unless you put a ring on it. Hope she is happy when she gets home.

Cuddling For ladies Cute,warm, straight to sleep. For guys Face full of hair,dead arm, and awkward bonner

Only a few will understand

Anything is a vibrator if you're brave enough

Facts🤞🤞

Wife material 👇👇😍😍🥰🥰

WTF it's like 8 inches deep 😳

My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my birthday. They gave me a rolex. I think they misunderstood when i said " I wanna watch"

Back in the old day a selfish is what guys did when there lady wouldn't put out.

If we are not supposed to have a midnight snack then why the fuck is there a light in the fridge?

What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? Popcorn You nasty nasty people

You can't work with only 3 hours sleep Me👇👇

Dear Monday, Fuck you sincerely, the world

Her: my gynecologist said I can't have sex for 2 weeks. Him: what did your dentist say.