Last night a girl started crying because she thought Matt and I were gay.

A new era. Qatalog 2.0 launches on December 6. Like this tweet to be notified.

Welcome to a new era of work. Today, we released Qatalog 2.0 in Beta - the world’s first system that designs and constructs bespoke software for any business, in seconds. A 🧵.. 1/

Hey, we have new openings for the Qatalog design team. If you are interested in working in an environment where design is valued, autonomy is encouraged and communication is easy. Let's talk 👇🏻

Kudos to my neighbor that rearranged his furniture at 3 am. And to the other who got in a screaming match at 4? This bud's for you. Bravo.

I should start using profile photos that don't portray me as dead inside. Damn you camera, for dependably capturing my true essence.

Get out my head, and into my car - and let me drive you far far away. Only witchcraft can put you inside another human's head. Devil woman!

I am whining about my current conditions! Whining and complaining! Over-reaction!!!

Man the East Village is spooky when you're a well adjusted, self-sustaining adult. Wow!

Ok redbull shot, you can wear off now. Me lying in bed under my covers shoulda been the first clue your services were no longer needed.

Getting older means you stop pre-drinking and start pre-napping.

We @C3467X are hosting long form #improv jam on Monday j.mp/1eFPweu Free to watch and/or play. Why would you miss that? WHY!?

I'm drinking a Coors Light at a bar in Harlem, in just my undershirt and jeans. Just ordered chicken and waffles for dinner. #aristocratlife

Okay I'll say it. This iPad is nice and the tweet app is pretty slick. Now only if it would give me massages and sandwiches, I'd be set.

@brendotscott I was going to ask why don't you just change your sheets, then I remembered you're eating lying down. Question answered.

I hate when my nasally congested voice goes from "night time smooth jazz DJ" to "accountant with a nosebleed, on the phone with a client"

Hey world, I'd like you to slow down. Just a little bit. For me, please? Thanks world for being understanding.

I am more excited to see the AIC's modern art wing than I am any of my friends. #IOnlyAppreciateStrangers #IfTheyreForeign #AndReallyWeird

Who needs to travel? I've got Google Earth, an iPad, an account with seamless web *and* grub hub. The world is at my fingertips #pathetic

I just checked my pocket for the phone I was actively using to read Twitter. #IShouldNotBeAllowedToFlyAlone