“People are just violating fundamental parts of the social contract, grow up, that doesn’t affect you.”

“MS NOW” sounds like a Mississippi-based liberal non-profit that engages in ballot harvesting and other shady electioneering practices.

1) NFL cheerleaders are glorified dance teams, not traditional cheer squads like you see in high school and college 2) Gays certainly belong on dance teams 3) NFL games would be 1,000% better if they had marching bands instead of cheerleaders

I’m thinking I’m gonna bust out the crockpot today after a summer in the cabinet, perhaps do a vegetarian chili.

Okay, I think I may have overdone it with the peppers, because it was like getting pepper sprayed when I walked back inside after letting it cook down for a bit. 😂

The relationship between poverty and crime is correlated but not causal. The reality is that the mentality that causes cyclical poverty is also very likely to lead to chronic criminal behavior as well.

I was stunned when I used to go to friends’ houses and see that their family had no ingredients in their kitchen. They had food, lots of it, but zero ingredients; everything was premade, packaged, and highly processed. Sadly, that’s how perhaps a majority of Americans eat.

When I was a junior at CU, I received 5 different people’s ballots at my apartment. No, it is most certainly not secure.

Little taste while I let the rest continue to cook down and, my Lord, this’ll make you sweat Serious heat

When people say “white people can’t cook”, they mean Ohioans can’t cook. Everyone else figured it out but for some reason, the Buckeyes hate good food.

Women are like cats: if they’re suddenly giving you lots of attention, they’re either hungry or want you to pat their bum.

I read this in Hunter S. Thompson’s voice for some reason

Oh no, the war game contains actual warfare!

Car 4, the H1-B truck driver who plows through the intersection at 70mph

I’m pretty sure I saw that guy working at an iPhone repair kiosk at the mall

I agree with Ed: the federal government should run the data and post National Guardsmen in high crime areas within those states. Good idea, Ed!

Great fucking news: the pathology came back and the tumor, while massive, wasn’t malignant and hadn’t spread. It isn’t quite over yet (there are some follow-ups to do) but it looks like ol’ padre will be around for many years to come.

Charcoal briquettes cooking down to a grillable temperature as the Sun begins its descent below the horizon

*long exhale* I’m just asking for someone to hold their shit together other than me, is that too much ask?

France criticizing the US is like a 3rd string JV quarterback criticizing the starting QB on the varsity squad. We don’t care, monsieur