Opossums pretending to die the moment they come under pressure is so real of them

Is your teen a moth?

Attracted to open flames: ✅
Will risk their life to touch a lamp: ✅
Will dive bomb you for no reason: ✅

if your teen is experiencing one or more of these symptoms they may be under the influence of moth. seek professional assistance immediately.

We appreciate you, Twitter fam! 🫶

So we want to give you some prizes! (& all you have to do is RT for a chance to win!)

Rules: redwn.gs/RTtowin

this is how your email finds me,

Word on the street is that Trump may be arrested today. This will be the first president that this has ever happened to.

I thought, 'what if all of the presidents were comic book villains?'

This, here is my newest list of presidents you never asked for.

1. George Washington

All right. Another presidents that you never asked for ai art thread.

This time, they’re professional wrasslers.

1. George Washington

every american president, but they're all cool and they all sport a mullet

46. Joe Biden

When I don’t have time for my morning coffee

The common snapping turtle (Chelydra serpentina) is a freshwater turtle of the family Chelydridae, a long-lived species reaching maturity at ages varying from 11 to 16 years and can live nearly 50 years in the wild. For context, that is 2.6315 Leonardo DiCaprio girlfriends

one day you're young and cute and the next you're 27, excited about a bird feeder

The feeling I get taking my first sip of coffee is the same feeling I get hearing Shania Twain say “let’s go girls”

There is nothing silly about a goose.

'fuck this job'

*goes to work*

😂😂😂👊👊👊❤️❤️❤️
FOREPLAY (at my house anyway)

I saw a tiktok of someone saying Adam Levine looks like a chipotle bag and I can’t stop thinking about it.

I be like “god keeps giving me the hardest battles” and the battle is being on time and getting iced coffee

taking my first sip of my pumpkin cream cold brew is the equivalent of iron man putting his suit on I’m so serious

hoping to encourage tourism, Scotland placed a couple of Shetland ponies in sweaters and it might be the best promotional campaign ever