If there's one thing you can rely on me for it's to have a really strong Halloween costume idea but execute it really badly

I'm sick and not in the "wow that's sick" kind of way, but in a cough cough splutter splutter kind of way

I'd love to join in all the American election discourse but I'm currently dealing with a mouse sneaking into my room at night and chewing my carpet so I've been a bit preoccupied as of late

Ryan Murphy is on the phone to Sarah Paulson as we speak, pitching the next season of American horror story

LIDL doing a UK tour of its Freeway Cola Christmas truck is so cheeky, rude and ridiculous. I’m obsessed and can’t wait!

Pogo stick for little hamsters and perhaps mice

Why would Sasha Elage shoot this beautiful Icelandic horse. R.I.P

I'd be unstoppable if I was a horse

Someone has assembled scaffolding right outside my living room window (I'm a 2nd floor flat) without any prior warning or notice. Jokes on them because I will not hold back from doing the Judas choreo naked in the centre of the room, all whilst making strong eye contact 👁️👁️

Donald Trump announces that Scottish Mum shouting 'Disgusting' will lead the department of Sewage and Sanitation

This has radicalised me and I think I'm going to kill someone

Hear me out. Marmalade is hosting the drag race viewing party in the main Cardiff gay bar tonight and therefore I believe that means she'll win this week's episode of Drag Race. Let's see if my detective skills are correct

Excuse me Tesco you little rascals. I've been scammed out of a wrap. On mini taco night of all nights!

London bby!

Now that my boyfriend has wrapped my Christmas presents and put them under the tree

Making my Twitter return to remind you all about APOPO. The charity where they put little rats in vests to save lives by sniffing out landmines/tuberculosis all whilst looking so cute 🥹

Happy birthday to me and Rosamund Pike 🎉🤠