I want to know the root of straight male logic when it comes to taking off your shoes and walking around the office in your goddamn socks.

AS A NEW YORKER I’M SUSPICIOUS OF ANYONE FROM A FLY OVER STATE AND “MEN” WHO ROCK PONYTAIL BEARDS.

When they try to get you to wear Eileen Fisher before you hit menopause by negging you:

I realized I code switch to Gypsy Rose 90% of the time when I’m dealing with men.

Not sure how to socially deal with the girl w/ the “I was born at home” tattoo in the office.

Quar Reflection #21.5 : Spent a year of my life as a DJ because I got hit in the head with a brick and forgot how to spell.

My dad just tried to explain to me how VR is going to be the next big thing because he saw some news clip of a teen with a fake vagina hooked up to a porn video that interacted with his penis...”maybe you could transition into something like that.” 🤦‍♀️

Quar Reflection 75.2 - We’re living in a personal trashcan inside of a very large public trashcan.

I wonder if Daddy De Blasio will spank me if I stay out past Curfew tonight.....

People love to congratulate themselves on the internet. Good job everyone. Big pats on the back. Good day to you.

A studio apartment is a storage unit with plumbing. A one bedroom is a storage unit with dry wall and plumbing. A two bedroom is....

New York isn’t over it’s just off it’s meds. Get it together people.

Doing a thing where I sell all the vintage clothing I’ve been collecting over the past 16 years. Stay Tuned.

Every time I get a rejection letter for my short film I try to imagine the fat, loveless, culture deprived programmer who said no to it. I SEE YOU!!!!!

Three very important lessons I’ve learned living in Los Angeles: 1) No one uses their real name, you should probably ditch yours. 2) Mostly everyone you will meet was either raised in a cult or is currently an active member. 3) All roads lead to Dipl*

Finally got a mentor and a mantra, I guess I’m a real LA gal now.

If I have to hear one more showbiz origin story on a first date I’m going to tie rocks onto my body and walk straight into the ocean…