Tonight’s broadcast of WVU vs. Baylor on ESPN is coming to you live from an old wooden ship.. also a whale’s vagina. 🗣WHAMMY

BAXTER, bark twice if you're in Milwaukee!

Go fuck yourself, San Diego!

The beginning vs. the end of the semester

It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.

It's an optical illusion. #CalmYourselfIn4Words

If you want to throw down fisticuffs, fine! I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waiting for ya, right here!

People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks.

Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! pic.x.com/MsnKF8Fcq6

I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.

How I'm handling everything thrown at me in life vine.co/v/OMg6D5LaOUF

"I love scotch that's old enough to order its own scotch" -Not a Burgundy quote; but dammit, do I respect it.

They've done studies, you know... 60% of the time, a THIRD MOVIE works, every time. #Anchorman3 @collidernews collider.com/anchorman-3-st…

The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show...

You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us...

I'm very important... I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.

It is anchorMAN, not anchorLADY! And that is a scientific fact!!!