❤️ Yoga for Beginners 4 week course starts Tuesday 4th Feb 6.30-7.30pm (£30) Please see here for more info absoluteyogacrosby.co.uk/yoga-for-begin… If you’d like to book on, or have any questions, just message or email [email protected] ❤️ This course is not in the hot room

❤️ Pilates for Beginners 4 week course starts Wednesday 12th Feb 6.30-7.30pm (£30) Please see here for more info absoluteyogacrosby.co.uk/yoga-for-begin… If you’d like to book on, or have any questions, just message or email [email protected] ❤️ This course is not in the hot room

If you’re on lockdown with: 1. A garden 2. A shit load of wine 3. A man that doesn’t do your head in 4. And a fuck load of paracetamol ...then you’re living the dream

Lockdown Tips 1. A shit load of wine 2. A pre-planned place to bury him - we all know it’s gonna come to that 3. Martial Law will happen soon: practice a sexy loitering face 4. Can’t hurt to shave your legs, there’ll be soldiers everywhere soon 5. A decent flame thrower or cosh

All of the beauty shops have closed for a couple of months. No lashes, tans, nails, brows, waxing... Men of the UK: brace yourselves. You’re about to see what your bird really looks like 🤪

I was prepared for a lock down...I wasn’t prepared for my dad self isolating with a smart phone and learning how to send memes. Is there some sort of government support for this?

Lockdown friend: I’ve done a Joe Wicks workout, deep conditioned my hair, saved the whales and been for a run. Lockdown Me: I’ve had two pot noodles and a nap.

“It’s not even 10am and I’ve done three loads of washing, cleaned the house, become bilingual and turned water into wine”. Pipe down love, nobody likes a lockdown twat.

Don’t be thinking outside the box to keep your woman entertained during lockdown. She wants deep fried cheese and a separate room away from you. Get back in your fucking box.

Lockdown Day Three: I’ve got 99 problems and actually contracting Covid-19 ain’t one.

Lockdown with your man... Him: Look at this Me: I hope it’s not his willy again. For the love of God, find a vaccine!

When all of this is over I’m applying to work at B&Q. Between my lockdown DIY efforts and past dating history I’ve become quite the expert on tools.

Our current online membership is £45 per month ❤️ We haven’t confirmed an opening date yet but when we do we will add to social media ❤️

Honesty 🙌

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