[] “Good thing Mike Tyson offers a fucking buffet” LMAO IM CRYING

[] keeping thinking about that botfly video and it’s giving me CHILLS. UGH

“…don’t say a word. I know it’s kinda cheesy. Just …just say thank you-…”

If only this was a real thing EXORCIST ON ICE

[] my cat does this too

She’s bored. So. She’s going to grow some tawa-tawa plants.

“Can’t wait for the landlord to randomly burst in, thinking I’m growing marijuana then call the police.”

“Just think of the aloe Vera plant, where it has its benefits. The Tawa-tawa does too. Helps with respiratory problems and stuff…. …and scaring away aswang. There’s that.”

“Mhmm. Spot on. You must not have much of a green thumb, do you?”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀♡ 𝐄 𝐌 𝐈 𝐈𝐒 𝑪𝑼𝑷𝑰𝑫 .ᐟ ♡ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐅𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝟏𝟒, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟔 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

“Go back to sleep.”

That’s not productive enough-

“…fine. Just don’t take all the blankets away from me.”

“How could I resist?”

“Wait—…WHAT?!” (Take it anyway.)

[] I’ve been testing out Do Not Disturb from the past few days right before bed. Best thing ever. Been sleeping wonderfully for several days now. DND where have you been all my life

“Get this tarot card reading BITCH out of my sight.”

“…….”