CM Punk at the No Kings protest in Chicago.

Watching the highlights from yesterday and there's few things funnier in the world than a sad parade

I love going to the county fair, maybe the only place you can see a dude with an ankle monitor giggle while eating cotton candy.

One of my favorite comedians Joe List has a new special out!!! Joe List: Small Ball FULL SPECIAL youtu.be/WXAEFZ-z_ns?fe… via YouTube

Getting a check up is pretty much asking the doctor "Am I on schedule to die? Ahead of schedule to die? Or do I have a shot at some overtime?"

Got my blood drawn and the nurse said I can take my bandage off after 20mins and I said okay even though I knew I would leave it on for no less than 8hrs.

🐶 ON SALE NOW - Zoltan Kaszas 🐱 With 68M+ views for his viral “cats vs dogs” bit and described by The Atlantic as a “breakout star,” @zoltancomedy brings his sharp, observational comedy to Leicester Square Theatre 📅 14 March 2026 🎟️ lsqtheatre.com/43Yz89A

If Hitler were alive today, he would likely appear on Theo Von‘s podcast

Look who Mom got to meet tonight. Zoltan Kaszas. It was a great show!

So I'm at Zoltan Kaszas at Magooby's Joke House and I hear the name Caleb Synan and am like, WHAT?? I know that name! I immediately hear in my head Corey Ryan Forrester - WeLoveCorey.com saying..."our buddy Caleb"...not sure specifically why Corey and not Trae Crowder or Drew or DJ DJ Lewis but it was awesome

BIG BIG NEWS!!! My movie “Tom Dustin: Portrait of a Comedian” is now officially available. You can purchase it for $6. Or if you’re feeling kooky you can get tons of bonus extras with the movie for $9. This is the best thing I’ve ever made. Get it. Enjoy. Tell a friend.

This week I'll be in these cities for the first time, Wednesday in Hoover, Alabama at StarDome Comedy Club Thursday in Huntsville, Alabama at Huntsville Levity Live then Friday and Saturday in Chattanooga, Tennessee The Comedy Catch come see me :)

Got a egg and cheese on a bagel and a cold brew at Dunkin' yesterday, they offered to add hash brown bites for $2, I declined then at the window she said, your total will be $2 less if you take the hash brown bites... I accepted but also, what is wrong with these bites?!

Don’t usually get serious on here but I’d like to for a moment: I think it’s very important to recognize and be grateful for the fact we finally have a Commander In Chief who is focused on late night comedy. Late night comedy is one of the most important issues of our time. I

Is Advil still cool?

Had Wingstop for the first time last night and good lord I'm still thirsty. Are they trying to kill us with that amount of salt?

Going to the Bob Dylan museum today which is weird because he's still alive, they really jumped the gun on this

There is something beautiful about 5am I just don’t know what it is yet.

If I could ever remember to put the trash out the night before trash day I’ll know I’ve become a real adult.

This Ed Gein thing on Netflix won’t end. 8 episodes of live action Elmer Fudd killing people and wearing panties? Who asked for all this? 90mins - 2hrs max then let me get on with my life