I made it halfway across the supermarket with SOMEONE ELSE’S shopping cart and I realized two things: 1. I really should have taken my groceries out of her cart before I returned it. 2. #SummerStacey is finally here! #NoSchool #UnemployedForTheSummer

If I were a better person, I would be celebrating #PresidentsDay with heartfelt reflections... I just keep calling today #ExtraSunday

My lunch was stolen today. Not even kidding... Everything except the coleslaw. #YouCantMakeThisStuffUp

It was so windy last night #Alexa thought somebody was talking to her. It's okay Alexa, I don't understand #ClimateChange either...

When I hear my cat readying to vomit, #AllIWantOutOfLife is for him to be on tile, not carpeting. Somehow, he always finds the stairs...

Double checking -- blocking off ALL DAY Sunday to #SpringAhead is considered antisocial, right? Even if I have A LOT of clocks?!

Did you know the astronauts emptied their #portapotty on the moon??

I just heard a #reallyloudnoise but I refuse to go and look into it. That's how they always start scary movies...

Female dragon flies often prefer to play dead instead of #flirt -- draw your own conclusions.

It turns out #lefthanded sporks are a thing. We are looking at a barely functional fork/spoon combo made for 10% of the population. 😳😳

There is something extra satisfying about turning off an alarm for an entire season. #summervacation

Yelling "They've started!" in a crowd before the #fireworks begin is tantamount to "Fire!" in a crowded theater. #July4

I drove by and saw the local #LARP group took a time out when the ice cream truck rolled up. Somehow I knew it, #Chocotacos save lives.

Announcer: Please COMPLETELY TURN OFF your cellular devices. Me: *Puts phone in #AirplaneMode * #CloseEnough

How have I never before noticed that eleven and twelve aren't oneteen and twoteen? #Woke

Why aren't cars painted with glow in the dark paint?! #SeriousQuestion

If you find yourself stung by a #jellyfish -- hot water and vinegar will help. I know what you're thinking, and it's a #myth ... Water and vinegar ONLY!!!

It’s #2018resolution time — while you’re deciding, it wouldn’t hurt to keep the sage words of #MikeTyson in mind, “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

I love a good #WinterWonderland — Not so much when my #SpringBreak becomes #SpringWeekend though...

Just joined the gym. First day goal was to not lose my car keys...