I've been reading a book on anti gravity. It's difficult to put it down.

I’m Hugh Hefner and I invented pornography

I've learned it's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They take everything literally.

Album should be done in the next few weeks ⚰️

I am terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

I was thinking about moving to Moscow but there is no point Russian into things.

I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Today a girl said she recognized me from vegetarian club, but I’m sure I’ve never met herbivore.

Without geometry life is pointless.

Y’all aren’t ready for this record ⚰️

My friends got mad at me yesterday for impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

I was addicted to doing the hokey pokey... but I turned myself around.

I tried to make a reservation at the library today but they were completely booked.

New Album goes stupid.

I wish I was asleep inside the Tennessee River

Nothing matters

Going to seriously file a lawsuit against Trump if he takes away the ACA part about insurance companies not being able to deny people with pre-existing conditions

What if I said I was gonna start dropping music again in January? 👀⚰️

Gender is lame

What if I did a show in a few months?