Pretty sure even Trump’s going to find them off-putting the moment they ask him who he thinks should build the roads.

Happy birthday month to me! If Brandon Kiser has told you how old I’m turning, he’s lying!

*Kristi Noem voice* We love bees, but tough decisions like this happen all the time on a farm

It's that time again

Getting asked directions in a Metro station is such a treat for a guy whose first job was giving tours of SeaWorld and would later do Capitol tours. So many instructive directional hand motions while walking backwards!

The Adams Morgan-DuPont line of demarcation is when the dispensaries start turning into “healing centers.”

Yeah haha good thing there have never been fights in congress over Medicare, Medicaid, housing vouchers, Pell grants, and infrastructure, since, you know, the U.S. federal government doesn’t have money for those things to begin with and they don’t exist and never have.

Well Mike, good thing she convened the family to debate and vote on shooting the dog in a gravel pit, rather than acting unilaterally. Thanks for clearing that up!

THEY FUCKING DOXXED THE BROTHERHOOD OF STEEL

Broke: I won’t watch the new series of Frasier without David Hyde Pierce.

Woke: I won’t watch Frasier because of Kelsey Grammer’s politics.

Bespoke: Frasier is literally antifa.

Everyone send Brandon Kiser the 🧅emoji

Moving to an apartment ~700 feet from the Washington Hilton was a surprise noise-based sleep inhibitor last night.

Invisible Children/Kony 2012 is the gold standard of millennial activism. In 2006, there wasn’t a public high school in CA that didn’t have a bake sale, film screening, or other fundraiser. Napoleon Dynamite & Invisible Children were the only movies we watched.

Convinced twitter wouldn’t be the safe space it now is to call John Fetterman a slob if much of his fmr lefty defenders didn’t dump him over Israel. Glad we can all shake our heads at his gross gym shorts now, but it would have earned you a “dOnT we hAvE bIgGeR pRoBlEmS” before.