Tom Harrison The decision has been taken by the crew to declassify the train to allow standard class passengers to use first class seats to relieve congestion. Apologies for any inconvenience caused. ^Cameron

My MP setting a ‘brilliant’ example to her constituents of how not to act when drunk Mary Kelly Foy MP and as bad a Catholic as well - she doesn’t represent me on either front

School nativity play: Shepherds' strike: 16-20 Dec Wise Men's strike: 15 Dec Inn Keeper's strike: 6,7,10 Dec My latest cartoon for tomorrow's The Telegraph Subscribe to my weekly newsletter to receive my unseen cartoons: telegraph.co.uk/premium/matt/?…

And many of them round the table mediocre

And of course the Birmingham Diocese has such a good track record

Or, we want public transport which is good enough for a prime minister to use

I dropped Mr Clark's office a line to see if he fancied responding to this. Still waiting on a reply

Tune in later to hear about "fuckwit" and "Dr Death" from this week's round of the Covid-19 Inquiry

Like a particularly pasty, badly-dressed ghost, Dominic Cummings haunted today's session of the Covid-19 Inquiry

Bit of a pasting for Matt Hancock over the last few days - not often being called a weasel-faced cunt on national TV is the highlight of your week

Reading this was like sitting though the good professor’s evidence again. And no, that’s not a compliment…

If you listen carefully, you can already hear this can being kicked down the road holdthefrontpage.co.uk/2023/news/edit…

TLDR, what every scientist wanted to say to every minister: "This is very complicated – please don’t talk about it"

Boris every time they mentioned herd immunity:

Meanwhile, Angela McLean: "Fuckwit" opendemocracy.net/en/covid-inqui…

Not only merked in the community note trying to dish it out to Labour, also conveniently forgets Tory-run Surrey, which has been teetering on the financial edge for about as long as I can remember amp.theguardian.com/society/2023/f…

RP Andrew James is our WINNER for this years Ondaatje Prize with his portrait titled ‘Reverie’ Sponsored by Sir Christopher Ondaatje CBE OC and the Ondaatje Foundation, this generous prize of 10k plus the Society’s Gold Medal is awarded for the most distinguished portrait!

What a great artist Andy James is

The same pollsters who predicted a “dead-heat” in the North East mayoral election

Wonder where Matt learned such stellar analytical skills? Perhaps his memorable tenure at Northern Rock?