Right I'm of to Arsenal. Shit team but they never forget a birthday.

Breaking: Greek Police arrest Harry Maguire after Night club incident.

Jesus Navas for Man City between 2013 and 2017. #RightWingJokes

Gary Lineker welcomes 16 year old refugee into his home.

Police found PSG fans playing football with a hedgehog. They were about to phone the RSPCA but noticed the hedgehog was winning 3-0. #CHEPSG

Looks like Oliver Glasner WILL be managing a Europa League side this season! #NNFC #CPFC

AG stop flirting with Yates. #NFFC #NUFC

The White House Bet he sexually assaulted that Penguin then paid it to keep quiet.

Time too get the riot police ready!! #RUSSLO

Roy Hodgson for PM.

Looks like part of the UKs staying in Europe!! #WALBEL

Despite Koeman, Wanyama, Mane and now Pelle all leaving, Southampton will still finish above Liverpool in the league.

Really impressed by Sissoko’s sheer desire to get himself a transfer. #FRAPOR

Thank you for all the kind birthday msgs, some not so kind😂 Cake from the staff at work. It's not gonna last 5 mins😉

Just heard the match report from the Aberdeen game. Aberdeen missed missed a penalty, had a player sent off and scored an own goal. (1/2)

They lost 1-0. Apart from that, and not qualifying for the Europa League, there were plenty of positives to be taken from the game. (2/2)

Gary Lineker looks like my Grandad in his pants after he was diagnosed with Alzhimers.

Just heard the news about Dalian Atkinson...shocking.

I've got the same amount of goals and assists as Paul Pogba this season so fuck you Pep!