How can FedEx get away with LYING AGAIN that they made a delivery attempt when a) I was here, and b) ON THE PHONE WITH FEDEX! at the time of “delivery.” 4th time this has happened to me recently. 🤬🤬🤬

If FedEx was another profession: Doctor: I tried to take out your cancer, but you weren’t here. Patient: Uh, yes, yes I was, lying in this hospital bed all day. Doctor: No, you weren’t. I didn’t stop by, but you weren’t. I’ll try again tomorrow. Or Monday. Or not. 🤷‍♀️

If FedEx was another industry: Pilot: “Ladies and Gentlemen, fasten your seatbelts for our descent into... actually, never mind, we’re just gonna circle up here. (Passengers grumble.) For how long? I dunno... a couple of hours... a week... who knows, we may never land.” 🤷‍♀️

Quèmala es debatingo el Pencedejo con el barriero glasso por que todos los everyoñe at el casa blanco tienen el coñorona.

He’s such a lackey puppet. 🤷‍♀️ #VicePresidentialDebate2020

I’m starting a GoFundMe for Sen Harris’ craniofacial massages she’s going to need after trying to not roll her eyes and hide shock at blatant lies and stare agape for 90 minutes straight. #VicePresidentialDebate

So Kamala has to debate AND be the moderator too?! You go, girl. #skills #VicePresidentialDebate2020

I need Eazy to be the next Bachelor STAT. The Bachelor

To those NOT celebrating right now, our guy will do his best to work for you too. Just sayin'.

Can Andy Serkis be in, like, EVERY movie? #AskingForAFriend #whoreallyisme

Can’t tell if I’m tired from vaccine side effect... or just tired 🤣

6 reactions out of ~7 million and J&J pulled — how many fatal shootings, and guns are still totally aok and no one cares. PS I GOT j&j and I’m shaking my head.

I kind of want to 💯 switch careers and train dogs to go to hospitals for patient therapy. 🤷‍♀️ #therapydog

I love that the gal behind me on the train just went, “OMG, I t’s a bones day!!” And I said, “It is?! Better get going, then!” and we were both so excited and I love that this is now a thing. #bonesday

Minxy’s first meme:

This year is MMXXII. I feel like that’s a good omen. But the bar is very low 🤣

Just posted a photo @ Two Hands instagram.com/p/CaFqkoZpRMn/…

It’s not every day Neil deGrasse Tyson pours you a 1976 #domainedelaromaneeconti #latache at lunch. It’s just today 🤣 #wineminx

Wine people — It’s “palate” when you talk about wine in your mouth. It’s “pallet” when you talk about moving a bunch of cases on a forklift. Thank you. #TheMoreYouKnow

It's here! My TOP 25 WINES UNDER $25 of last year - I found some real gems for ya... wineminxannie.com/wine-writing/f… #wineblog #valuewine #wine