#sicknote

Remember, if you want to make sure they #GetBrexitDone, put an x in both Conservative and Brexit Party boxes.

Fuck off Crystal Palace F.C.

How is Nick Pope not England’s first choice GK

But yeh fam, I had a pain in my wisdom tooth all yesterday, flossed just now, and a tiny flake of a popcorn kernel came out. (1917 was sick) So to everyone that doesnt floss, you might have a madness up in there ya kna. Some next biodiverse microalgae n ting.

Just did a family quiz and Mum didn’t know half the answers to her own round🤦🏻‍♂️

Worst thing about lockdown is that my mum’s discovered memes

Just joined a zoom call for work with complete strangers, with my name set to ‘Quizmaster 3000’ 🙂

"The national anthem took 2 minutes. There were guys who needed towels and things to get under their knees. And yet, someone kneeled on another human beings neck for 8 minutes. That's nuts." Powerful words from Doc Rivers (via Farbod Esnaashari)

Sir David Attenborough is joining Dave the rapper for a musical wildlife special independent.co.uk/arts-entertain…

Finally, and arguably our favourite signing of the day, is Jamie Broadfield. This guy is the best babysitter at the club, bar none. A former Clubman of the year winner, J-Zilla will often be found suppin a Staro. Banter for days

The replies to this tweet show just how racist the UK is. Wow.

Add some much-needed calm to your next Parish Council video meeting with our virtual backgrounds: ow.ly/9dud50Ds2CK

We are looking for a new management team for our 1st team who play in Hellenic League Division Two South If you are interested please contact Chairman Simon Harrington on 07789437227 or [email protected] faringdontownfc.com/faringdon-town…

FULL TIME: Town 2-0 Shrivenham Development F.C A top performance! Jamie Broadfield and Billy Bazen with the goals. Well played lads! #UTR

FULL TIME | Town pick up a good win at home against @ClannyDev Matt Pill and Liam Hares the scorers in a 2-1 win. A good battling performance from the lads #UTFR 🔴

Let’s start with this seasons skipper. Billy Bazen joins us from neighbours Faringdon Town FC and brings vast experience and fantastic technical ability to our midfield. Welcome to the club 🔵⚪️

FULL TIME 🔵⚪️ Points shared away from home to Purton Kingsdown FC Goals from Matthew Slevin ⚽️ Jamie Mcgahey ⚽️ John Hunnings ⚽️ MOTM: Our Skipper Billy Bazen We go again back at home on Tuesday #UTS