Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile
Kerstin Porter

@whokerstin

Approachable Fitness Friend
Actor | Writer | Comic

ID: 462670047

linkhttp://www.kerstinporter.com/ calendar_today13-01-2012 06:30:07

3,3K Tweet

2,2K Followers

3,3K Following

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I celebrate #BlackFriday by turning off the lights, eating leftovers and watching dark comedies. Seems more fitting than shopping to me.

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

CAUTION if you give a The Home Depot #giftcard you might be giving trash. I received a $100 gift card! But instead of getting supplies I got told my card was redeemed in Canada with a slew of other cards, so it was probably comprised and they wouldn’t help me at all #ScamAlert

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Middle America was always known as the fly over states, but after the pandemic, it's become the land in states. #Everyonemoved

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Halloween is different when you’re 40. I stopped dressing up and started drinking and not sleeping. Then I naturally look like a witch!

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

The perfect warm up attire for working out isn't tear away pants. It's an fall away shirt, one that's so big it falls off when you do handstand reps.

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Halloween Costumes that are also Exercises: 1) Follow someone around - Shadow 2) Contort your body - Road Kill 3) Run - Final Girl

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

They say white people don't season food. Well, I do. I spice up my food with flaxseed, yogurt, kale, wheatgerm, dandelion greens... It really improves the chances of me being the only one eating it.

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I came up with a new workout! Final Girl Workout: Flailing Arms Run, Fall and Crawl, Shocked Head Shake, Practicing Absence, and Running Upstairs. What's your favorite exercise?

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I'm trying to do 10k steps daily, but in the city it's more like 10k trips over garbage, jumps over dog poop, and turn arounds to avoid the guy, hopefully, just peeing.

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

There's some incredible exercise equipment, which I can't afford so I do exercises with a chair. My neighbor's chair. Gotta keep it affordable.

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I’m finally fully commit and get married to my f**k it attitude! And I’m wearing a shiny wedding ring on my middle finger so everyone knows.

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

For good eye health: every 20 minutes look 20 feet away for 20 seconds. And focus at what you're looking at, because you might accidently be staring at someone. At least that's what I'm telling my neighbors. #eyehealth

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Why pay for a gym membership? You can go to the store for free! There you can exercise by: lifting jugs of water, running to get in line first, and putting everything back after you see the price.

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Can we please stop putting sand on top of muffins?! It’s sugar? I thought it was because people wanted to feel like they were at the beach. Why the hell do we put sugar on muffins?

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Last year I asked Santa for muscles. He brought me Don Saladino 's workout program. Not what I meant, but I don't mind looking at Don's muscles.

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

They put up a Christmas Climbing Wall in the town center in the shape of a Christmas Tree! But the cops that pulled me off it said it IS a Christmas Tree.

Kerstin Porter (@whokerstin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I have a new exercise instructor that I love. Yes, it's a singing, dancing Christmas Animatronics Toy but it's a workout to keep up with them!