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easiest sport of all time

Watch the Full special on YouTube youtu.be/Svual-PcOxE?si…

So fun hangin’ with whitmer thomas on this week’s @walkinabouthistory 🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏾🚶🏽‍♀️🛹

Im filming my next stand up special in LA on July 25th!!! Get tix now and dont piss me off. linktr.ee/whitmerthomas?…

I would've just gotten a smaller stool

LA! Me and Carmen Christopher are starting a monthly show. First one is August 11th at Permanent Records Roadhouse with It’s almost sold out. Get tix while you can. Lineup: Joe Pera Conner O’Malley Dan LICATA Anna SEREGINA Jordan Temple link.dice.fm/gHEn8AclNLb

This is crazy but me and Carmen Christopher are doing a couple shows in Toronto on Sept 7th. Every other show on tour has sold out so get tix quick. linktr.ee/whitmerthomas

I made a shirt based on my two favorite things. Super limited. Get one quick! whitmerthomas.bigcartel.com/product/my-own…

new one for whitmer thomas & Carmen Christopher at Permanent Records Roadhouse next week

“An Uncle’s Christmas (Angels in the Sand)” is out now, along with a few other Xmas songs on my new EP called LIVE FROM THE NORTH POLE. Please share. My goal is for this to get lost in a thread of some guy dressed as the Grinch getting stabbed or elf porn youtube.com/watch?v=ZeH4tW…

This what grinch would look like if he got his nut

Easily the greatest and most emotionally powerful comedy special of the last decade-- watch it on @max if you haven't yet #thegoldenone @whitmerthomas

Got some blue shrimp hats up in the merch store. Get em quick. whitmerthomas.bigcartel.com/product/shrimp…

TWO NEW SHRIMP HAT STYLES IN THE SHOP NOW! whitmerthomas.bigcartel.com/product/shrimp…

DOING A BIG SHOW AT LARGO ON APRIL 28TH! Scoop tix now. Don’t piss me off. wl.seetickets.us/event/whitmer-…

taking 4/20 to the next level and smoking crack laced with cum

Doing something special at this cool show!! See ya there.

Got a big show in LA coming up. Killer lineup. Get the tix. wl.seetickets.us/event/whitmer-…

Happy father day to my Christian God