Bro that CIA guy they keep interviewing is telling stories that sound straight out of American Dad what are we doing😭

Guangdong Salad🥗 “Fine, I’ll do it for uncle sam”

Guangdong Salad🥗 The 47 ballistic missiles story was alr hilarious and then he had to say that by the time they got there it was nighttime and we killed the janitor.

Women: I'm 35, where are the good men? Also women:

❌Florida’s Randy Fine 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘃𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗳 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝘀 during a bill outlawing Israel boycotts. How corrupt does it get?

Richard Cooper Not hot enough to have a list and too old to behave this way

Jim Carrey said this right after winning an award—and it makes sense now.

This guy jumps onto a moving horse, balances as it gallops, and then starts jump roping while standing on it. Not exaggerating.

🚨 Japan makes Muslim immigration extremely tough: No special halal privileges—they cook their own food. Building mosques is nearly impossible. Public calls to prayer & street praying banned. It’s basically a soft ban on Muslim immigration. Stand with Japan? A. Yes B. No

Valentine’s Day (and dating) is a humiliation ritual for men. I want NOTHING to do with this sort of woman. I’m not going to deal with a woman who is entertaining all these men. They can have (share) her. Gross. Unless she is YOUR girl, she gets NOTHING. Undivided attention or

“I think I’m watching my coworker get radicalized by his algorithm in real time.”

Islamic activist: “We poured millions into spreading Islam in Japan. After six years, only one person converted, and he wasn’t even Japanese.” What do the Japanese have that we don’t?

Ersin Therealrob When someone accuses their significant other of cheating out of the blue, its likely because they themselves are cheating and it's their guilty conscience telling on them. It's called projection. Democrats do it all the time.

Brian Atlas Well points to her for being honest in her preference rather than saying she wants the alternative and not really meaning it

Barack Obama claims that aliens are real in a new interview 😬

Brian Atlas She said it right at the end. Her dad left. It was inevitable she turned out like this.

kira 👾 He’s saying “they’re real” because of his own opinions on conspiracies. He’s not saying they are real based on factual evidence. He literally said he’s never seen them.

ICE killed a poet and called her a terrorist and expect us to believe that.

This girl LEFT her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day to go home with Clavicular, and he was begging him not to do it 😭💔👀 “..Your a good guy Clav.. Don’t do this to me bro.. It’s valentine’s day.”